I dreamed I was at a beach front resort in a late sixties early seventies style. I am staying with acquaintances in apartments. Just across the road are bungalow style beach houses.
All through the day I keep coming up with missing items, Nothing important, a Kroger bag filled with chips and dip, a package of toilet paper, a small toiletry bag filled with travel sized toothpaste tubes and deodorant sticks. I keep finding them on the car port of the bungalow across the street. As the day progresses I grow evermore irritated as to why my things are being taken, and just left out where I can see them. No one is ever seen taking them.
Later that evening I am entertaining.There are friends, music, dancing. We are all dressed to the 9s. There is a big, jovial, bearded man in a tux sitting in a chair he stand quickly as I enter the room. He is smiling from ear to ear. He asks me to dance. I do not know who he is but I feel like I should know him. I then dance with S and then J when I realize that my straight cut skirt is too confining. I go to the bedroom to change along with another woman. I can not remember if it was J or D.
As I am changing K comes into the room and whispers to me conspiratorially. ” Hey have you seen this?” He pulls the drapes aside and points to the bungalow across the street. The lights are on in the upstairs bedroom but the rest of the house is dark. “I think you should check this out” K says. So we are tiptoeing through the grass barefooted. Somehow we are then peeking into the upstairs window. What I see really has an effect on me. What I see is my childhood bedroom replicated in eery detail. My toys, my books, my bed…. I run. I am running back to the apartment through the dark. K is calling to me but I pay him no mind. He then catches my by the left arm am turns me around to face him. “I really think you need to look at this.” So together we are crawling in through the window. K stands there patiently as I flip through books and caress baby dolls.
I then notice a door in front of me. I am drawn toward it compelled to open it. I float across the room grasp the doorknob and turn. What I see next is in shadow. I think I see my maternal grandparents. My grandmother is sitting in a rocking chair, My grandfather stands behind her. There is a small lamp casting just enough light to see their silhouettes. I am immediately overwhelmed by grief. I collapse into a fetal position in the floor wailing.
I wake up crying. I periodically cry throughout the day thinking about it. I had the sense that I have compartmentalized memories and emotions to an extent until now unknown to me.